Parents Should Raise Children to Prioritize Marriage and Parenthood Early, Not Career Milestones First
Source: Katy Faust. "If You Want Grandbabies, Raise Your Kids To Get Married ASAP." August 14, 2026. thefederalist.com
The Gist
The author argues that if parents want grandkids, they need to stop pushing their kids toward career and education first and marriage/family last, since that formula produces few or no grandchildren. Instead, parents should model joyful family life early, actively coach their kids toward finding a spouse, and teach them the truth about fertility timelines so their children choose marriage and parenthood while young.
Conclusion
Parents who want to become grandparents should raise their children from an early age to view marriage and childbearing as priorities to pursue in young adulthood, rather than delaying them until after career, education, and financial milestones are achieved.
Premises
- The culturally dominant life sequence (degrees, career establishment, debt payoff, travel, home ownership, then marriage, then maybe children) results in fewer or no grandchildren.
- Survey data (Pew 2023) shows parents overwhelmingly prioritize their children's financial independence and career (around 90%) over marriage (21%) and parenthood (20%), and this mismatch in stated values predicts low future grandchild rates.
- Parental modeling of family life as joyful and fulfilling (rather than portraying children as burdens) shapes children's later desire to become parents themselves.
- Active parental coaching during dating years (encouraging evaluation of character and shared values) and treating college as a spouse-finding opportunity increases the likelihood of early marriage.
- Teaching daughters the truth about fertility's biological timeline, rather than treating fertility as something to suppress and address later via technology, leads to earlier and more successful childbearing.
- The author's own family serves as a case study: children raised with these values now express strong early intentions toward marriage and large families.
Assumptions
- Having grandchildren (and having them earlier in life) is a desirable and legitimate goal that most parents share.
- Marrying young and having children early is generally compatible with a good, fulfilling life and does not meaningfully conflict with career or personal development goals.
- Parental influence and modeling are the dominant causal factors in children's later marriage and childbearing decisions, more so than economic conditions, cultural shifts, or individual autonomy.
- Delaying marriage/childbearing for career and education is primarily a cultural/values problem rather than a rational response to economic realities (e.g., cost of living, student debt, career demands).
- The traditional pattern of early marriage and childbearing is achievable and healthy for most people, not just a fortunate subset with religious community support or specific circumstances.
- Assisted reproductive technology (egg freezing, IVF) is an inferior substitute for natural early fertility rather than a legitimate complementary option.