Parents Should Apply the Same Personalized Care to School Choices as They Do to School Supplies
Source: Marc Oestreich. "Parents Spend More Energy Picking Backpacks Than Picking Schools." September 2, 2026. thefederalist.com
The Gist
The author argues that parents spend way more thought and care picking out backpacks, shoes, and lunch items that perfectly suit their kid's personality than they do choosing or shaping their kid's actual education. He says parents have gotten so used to schools being a fixed, one-size-fits-all package that they've stopped trying to customize it—even though today there are more options than ever (charter schools, microschools, homeschooling, etc.). His message: start treating your kid's education with the same personalized care and willingness to experiment that you already use for everyday parenting decisions.
Conclusion
Parents should exercise active, ongoing agency in shaping their children's education—choosing and adjusting schooling to fit the individual child—rather than passively accepting a standardized school package.
Premises
- Parents already exercise extraordinary discretion and personalized judgment when picking backpacks, shoes, lunches, and other peripheral items for their children, tailoring choices precisely to each child's temperament and preferences.
- In contrast, parents apply far less discretion and imagination to the school itself, which is typically built for scale and standardization rather than for the individual child.
- Historically, families had little choice about schooling logistics (where, when, what, how), so they adapted by focusing their decision-making energy on peripheral matters instead.
- Psychological research on 'learned helplessness' suggests that when people repeatedly cannot control an outcome, they stop trying—but also that agency and control can be relearned through repeated small acts of choice ('reps').
- The educational landscape has expanded significantly (charters, microschools, hybrid programs, co-ops, online courses), making meaningful choice in schooling more available than ever before.
- Survey data shows many parents feel they have school choice (70%) but few actually research or compare options (26%), indicating that the habit of exercising this choice lags behind the opportunity to do so.
- Applying the same instinctive, iterative decision-making parents use for everyday items (try, observe, adjust) to educational choices—like pulling a child out for special experiences or building a customized educational path—would better serve the child's individual needs and interests.
Assumptions
- Personalized, non-standardized educational experiences are inherently better for children than standardized schooling.
- Parents are capable of and willing to take on the additional effort required to actively curate their children's education once they recognize the opportunity.
- The expanded educational options (charters, microschools, etc.) are genuinely accessible and viable alternatives for most families, not just a privileged few.
- The psychological analogy between learned helplessness in shocked dogs and parental passivity about schooling choices is a valid and sufficiently strong parallel.
- Taking children out of standard schooling for enrichment activities, trips, or alternative programs will not create significant academic or social gaps or disadvantages.
- The 'reps' of small everyday choices translate meaningfully into the capacity to make larger, more consequential educational decisions.