Modern Dating Culture Has Become Anti-Social and Destructive to Romance
Source: https://www.facebook.com/americanspectator/. "The Valvoline Incident: Romance in the Age of Public Shaming | The American Spectator | USA News and Politics." June 7, 2026. spectator.org
The Gist
The author argues that modern dating has become toxic because both sides overreact - feminists shame all male approaches as creepy, while men's rights types say women are unfairly mean. This creates a culture where people are afraid to pursue romance, which hurts everyone.
Conclusion
Our current dating culture has become fundamentally anti-social, with both extreme feminist and manosphere reactions creating an environment that discourages healthy romantic pursuit and punishes awkward but well-intentioned attempts at courtship
Premises
- The mechanic's approach was inappropriate (invasion of privacy, workplace violation) but reflected ignorance rather than malice
- The woman's response of public shaming and employer reporting was disproportionately harsh for what was essentially poor social skills
- Both feminist narratives (men are gross for approaching women) and manosphere narratives (women shame decent men unfairly) are anti-romantic and destructive
- Humans are social creatures who owe each other basic kindness and politeness unless the social contract is breached
- Harsh punishment for awkward romantic attempts teaches men that pursuing love isn't worth the risk, leading to further social isolation
- The proper response to inappropriate but non-malicious advances should be polite rejection, not public humiliation
- Current dating dysfunction stems from people not knowing proper courtship etiquette and being afraid to learn through normal trial and error
Assumptions
- Most awkward romantic approaches stem from ignorance rather than malicious intent
- Society benefits when people pursue romantic connections despite initial failures
- Public shaming is generally counterproductive for teaching social skills
- There exists a 'proper' way to approach romantic interest that can be learned
- Basic politeness should be the default response unless someone is genuinely threatening