Authentic Femininity Is Received, Maternal, and Relational—Not an Online Aesthetic or Constructed Identity
Source: Bethany Miller. "From Girlbosses To Tradwives, Our Culture Gets Femininity Wrong." October 9, 2026. thefederalist.com
The Gist
The author says internet fads, whether girlbosses or tradwives, treat femininity as a look or a style. She argues that real femininity is something women receive by nature: it is about nurturing, building relationships, and being open to love and support, and it should be pursued as a deeper way of being rather than a trend.
Conclusion
Both girlboss and tradwife internet trends fail to capture real femininity; true femininity is a received nature that is maternal, generative, relational, and receptive, and women need this deeper vision rather than another aesthetic or trend.
Premises
- Internet trends, from girlboss and clean girl to tradwife and 'feminine energy', offer women aesthetics and styles of femininity rather than a substantive account of what femininity is.
- Being female is a nature a woman receives, not an identity she constructs, and sexual difference extends beyond anatomy to how men and women relate to one another, to family, and to future generations.
- The female body is uniquely ordered toward receiving, bearing, and nurturing life, so femininity is fundamentally maternal and generative, even for women who are not biological mothers.
- Healthy femininity is relational and receptive: it notices and tends to others' needs, creates belonging, and accepts love, provision, protection, and leadership without perceiving dependence as a threat to dignity or autonomy.
- Healthy femininity is strong rather than fragile, and it does not treat masculinity as competition or every sex difference as a hierarchy needing correction.
- Toxic femininity is not an excess of femininity but feminine capacities turned against their proper ends (e.g., sensitivity becoming manipulation, relational intelligence becoming gossip, nurture becoming control).
Assumptions
- Sex differences are natural and teleological: the female body's ordering toward childbearing reveals a normative purpose for women's character and social role.
- Femininity has an objective essence that can be discovered rather than a socially constructed, plural meaning.
- Traits like nurturing, receptivity, and relational influence are characteristically feminine rather than human traits shared by both sexes.
- Observed feminine vices (manipulation, gossip, entitlement) are distortions of feminine virtues, which presupposes a prior definition of 'proper ends'.
- Accepting complementarity and male leadership/provision is compatible with full female dignity.
- A trend-driven aesthetic cannot, by itself, convey or produce genuine virtue or identity.